7. Claude VonStroke

The Dirtybird honcho is on FIIIYYYYAAAAAA. Headlining primo festivals, jet-setting to exotic locales, and bringing house back to the boys and girls. It's not easy being Claude VonStroke, but he makes it look like it with that contagious grin and plenty of bump 'n' grind. You dirty, bird, you.

6. The Floozies

"Funk, you fools!" - Gandalf

An oft misquoted line from the movie. As he was about to fall into the depths, the great wizard was encouraging the Fellowship of the Ring to go see The Floozies. The Tolkein estate is super pissed at Peter Jackson for how they ended up editing that scene and not making it clearer, but now you know. Funk will save your ass in Mordor.

5. Exmag

Speaking of funk, that sexy goodness from the right coast is headed straight to the midwest in the form of Exmag. The freshest sounds from the Lowtemp labs creeps into your bed at night and makes you do weird things. Can't deny it. And there's rumors of a certain Slovenian slinking around the festival grounds, so who knows... perhaps Denis J will make an appearance. One can never tell.