Published: September 30, 2013
By: Jordan Calvano
5. Bondax
Alright, let’s be real. Bondax is the shit. There’s no denying that. Some of the best in the business right now, and that’s real. But these “hipstars” will always find a way to make you feel lesser about your recent discoveries. “Oh I know Bondax. You just found out about them? That’s cool. I prefer their early shit from 2011, that’s when I started listening to them. Their new shit is too poppy for me. But that’s cool that you like them man.” Hands start to tighten, fists start to clench, and your about to let loose. Then you realize, they’re just not worth it. They’re just not worth it. Keep repeating that and bump some Bondax, it will calm you down.
4. RAC
RAC is from Portlandia, the modern day mecca of all hipster affairs. It’s like a gang with mobsters and distribution. Every big decision stems from the 503; kind of like Atlantic City in Boardwalk Empire. But you won’t be seeing anyone looking like Nucky Thompson around here. No sir. Just dudes wearing ironic clothes from the 80’s, pants rolled up way too high, and sporting beards down to their collarbones. Which indie artist hasn’t RAC remixed? It’s like a game to him. He pumps them out like a distribution factory. We’ve got The Shins, The Temper Trap, Edward Sharpe, Washed Out (creator of Portland’s official theme song), Phantogram, Tegan & Sara. Need we say more?
3. Ryan Hemsworth
There’s something about the name Ryan Hemsworth that just sticks in your head. Makes you want to repeat it over and over again. It’s like a terrible disaster. You can’t stop staring. Some historic hipsters have stated that Ryan is the much cooler brother of Chris and Liam Hemsworth, but the actual details of the matter were destroyed in a terrible fire. To be honest, he kind of looks like them (thank me later Ryan). Regardless, this Canadian pretty boy is stirring up A Mighty Wind in the indie scene with remixes of Rhye, Grimes, and Cat Power, so everybody watch your back.
2. Hudson Mohawke
It’s been said that only the realest of real hipsters can understand the lyrics to “Cbat” by Hudson Hohawke. To us it sounds like dolphin, but they can decipher that shit like Nicholas Cage in National Treasure. Solving mysteries like it was their day job. Although collaborating with (cover your ears hipsters) Kanye West and Drake on their recent records couldn’t have made them happy. Just imagine their reaction. They will probably turn it around and say something like “I knew ‘R U Ready’ before Mr. West did. And that makes me awesome.”
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DowntempoGlitchHip HopHouse